Tom prepares to trim his brother Patrick's curls. Photograph: Patrick Kingsley

The other day I was at the watercooler in the office when the deputy fashion editor swept past. "Nice haircut," she said. I swelled with pride. Not just the narcissistic kind – at last! Follical validation from a respected analyst of haute couture! – but fraternal pride, too. For this haircut was not just any haircut. It was a haircut by my brother.

For the past 12 months, Tom and I have cut each other's barnets. You may wonder why I'm sharing this information – we can't see what the fuss is either – but it seems to amaze enough people to demand some sort of demystification. So here goes.

Once a month, I pop round to Tom's flat, we watch The Apprentice, and then out come the kitchen scissors. One time I tried to watch The Apprentice during the haircut itself, but this ended badly. Tom is very dexterous but he needs direction, something I was unable to provide while watching Suralan and co. Facilities in the bathroom, or occasionally the kitchen, are limited. We have a small mirror, a towel, and a vacuum cleaner. "Would you like product in that?" is simply not a question we have the resources to ask.

The shebang all started when we were home last year for Easter. My curls were on the shaggy side, so Tom – always a pragmatist – whipped out the scissors and waved them at me. A tradition was born. From Tom's perspective, the arrangement saves him a bit of money. For my part, I get my hair cut by someone who does exactly what I say.

There have been a few bumps. Quite literally: I'm always leaving divots. In fact, in technical terms, I am a terrible hairdresser. I don't see this as critical – if your hair looks all right from a distance, who cares about a few bald spots? – but on occasion Tom has complained. One time it got so bad that he actually sacked me and employed a professional barber. It cut me deep – hoho! – but he soon came crawling back. He could take only so much chit-chat about where he went on holiday.

DIY haircut tips

▶ Go slow. I tend to hack away like the grim reaper in a plague year. But for best results, only trim a little bit at a time.

▶ Cut at an angle, rather than horizontally – and if you do make a divot, it'll be easier to cover up.

▶ Apply water for easier trimming. But hair shrinks slightly as it dries, so you'll need to cut more conservatively than you think.

▶ When the hair is the right length, reduce its weight by cutting almost vertically from the root. Don't close the scissors completely.

▶ If you do make a divot, don't shorten everything else to compensate. You'll make it worse.

Tangy tub: soak it up with Philosophy's pink grapefruit bubble bath. Photograph: Observer

I have approx two baths a year. Which is not to say I am filthy. It's not to say that, no. I am clean. Clean enough, anyway. But for me, baths only come into their own at times like this; times when the sky is as dark as a mood and the only good place to be is submerged in perfumed water. Bubbles you need: lots of bubbles. And a podcast playing, telling you stories. And a towel on the radiator. For the listening I'd recommend the New Yorker fiction podcast; for the towel I'd recommend one that's been through several washes and has a bit of fight left in it, and for the bubbles I'd recommend Philosophy's Blushing Pink Grapefruit bubble bath (14, boots.com) which is gorgeously unsweet. Now go – bathe.

Alternatively...

Chanel 60, chanel.com Weleda 8.95, weleda.co.uk L'Occitane 19, asos.com Laura Mercier 31, selfridges.com Rituals 9.90, johnlewis.com MOR 40, houseoffraser.co.uk Jo Malone 38, jomalone.com

Fingersmith: try Butter London's old-gold varnish. Photograph: Observer

Nail time! Sometimes it feels like a body isn't quite big enough for all the jewellery you want to hang on it. You've got, what, one neck? Two wrists, an ankle, a couple of fingers that are thin enough for rings? This is the opportunity to turn your nails into jewels. Metallic varnish. The way to wear it now is as matte as possible – use Rimmel Pro Matte Top Coat at the end if you like (4.59, boots.com) – and on long, pointy-ish nails, so they look a bit like serving spoons. I like the old-gold look of Butter London's Full Monty (12.50, butterlondon.com), which has the feel of tarnished wedding rings, and Mavala's Platinum Marble (4.30, boots.com), which is even odder – an old picture frame, found buried in the garden. OK. End of nail time. Back to work.

Alternatively

Illamasqua: Bacterium, 13.50, illamasqua.com
Nars: Diamond Life, 13.50, narscosmetics.co.uk
Deborah Lippmann: Don't Tell Mamma, 14, houseoffraser.co.uk
Topshop: Hyperreal, 6, topshop.com
Orly: Rock Solid, 9.85, orlybeauty.co.uk
Chanel: Peridot, 17.50, 020 7493 3836

Suits designed in 1966 by Aquascutum and Simpson-Daks, members of the British Menswear Guild. Photograph: Keystone/Getty Images

The growing variety in men's clothes has reached a point where the tailoring world talks of rival styles. In Britain, it is the Flare line; in Germany, the Flowerpot line; in America, it is the Ivy League. Named designers of men's clothes are conspicuously absent, particularly in Britain.

Whatever the designer's interpretation of what men (or, as often or not, their womenfolk) want in clothes, it is increasingly apparent that we are fast moving towards an "international" style. Of course, there will be variations: age modifications between, say, the "teenager," the "man about town" and the "professional man", plus national variations.

Just as Paris has had to fight to resist the challenge of Italy and America in women's fashion, so today Savile Row is making a stand to retain some claim for traditional British bespoke tailoring. Hence, the Flare line, London's first major attempt for a decade to introduce a revolutionary new style. Will it succeed?

This spring's version of the Flare line, first introduced a year ago, is modified to the point where it at least becomes a practicable proposition. It is essentially the marriage of a cavalry-type jacket, longish in length and flared, and semi-bell-bottomed trousers with turn-ups.

Combined with it is the growing emphasis on brighter colours, on bold checks for country and Italian-inspired stripes for town wear. Waistcoats pick up a single colour from woollen or worsted suiting and are further enlivened by a novel cut.

Already, Savile Row reports that some of London's bold pioneers are adopting and adapting the Flare line. It will need further modification, however, before the ready-tailored manufacturers attempt to market it on a mass scale. Which is probably why the bespoke tailors have plunged for it.

The continental Flowerpot style is slender-making. The emphasis is on freedom of movement. It appeals as much to the young man on the continent as to those who wish to hide middle-age spread.

The jacket is directly opposed to the British conception. It is short with natural sloping shoulders, narrow lapels and slim sleeves to give the arms more emphasis. The trousers hug the hips and have very narrow bottoms without the turn-ups.

A touch of continental logic: bespoke tailors now cut the trouser knee on slightly fuller lines; this, together with a lining from the knee upwards, prevents bagging.

In America, this same mood of casualness has been developed over the years from what the college students wore into what has become known as the Ivy League line. Extreme forms of the Ivy, popular with younger men, are similar to our Edwardian style.

Already an American version of the Flowerpot has appeared, known as the Continental. No doubt each country will adopt its rival's styles. It becomes harder and harder to spot a man's nationality by his clothes.

Putting a vest amongst the MPs
Oh Russell, with your jokes to the Commons home affairs select committee and your rock 'n' roll cowboy fashions. This week, Mr Brand might have been in the headlines for providing his thoughts on Britain's drug policy to MPs, but, really, wasn't everyone just thinking '"what was he wearing?'" If you missed it, the full look was as follows: hat, sunglasses, a collarless leather coat, some kind of tapestry-style belt, ripped acid washed black jeans and slouchy boots. No real surprises here, as Brand has long championed the skinny-fit, dishevelled look popular on the high-street for aeons. But the shocking thing about this ensemble was when he took his coat off, and was sat, in a formal setting, wearing a vest. Vest sleeves - that's quite a look. For those who prefer men dressed up all neat and in suits, it wasn't exactly a persuasive argument for dress down Friday. However in dressing to the beat of his own drum, Brand came across as totally authentic, a message that a bland suit and a boring tie rarely manages to convey. Discuss.

Shoes! Shoes! Shoes!
Selfridges announced this very morning that they are going to launch the biggest men's shoe department ever. Coming this November, the department store is creating a 10,000 square foot space that will house 250 brands and stock around 72,000 pairs of shoes at any one time. Plus, while you're trying on new ones, your old shoes will be whisked away and polished. Not sure what happens to trainers but when we know we'll get back to you...

ASOS Autumn/Winter 2012 key trends Photograph: ASOS

Next season is gonna get busy
Yesterday Topman showcased their autumn/winter 2012 collections with lashings of print (peacock, paisley, Aztec) on shirts, suit jackets and leggings alongside colour blocked jackets, posh tailoring and fuzzy mohair knits. In comparison to the moody Topman Design collection, this was positively hectic, taking in the themes of South America, 90s Brighton alternative, 70s London and George Best. This fancy for the bold is also one of the key messages that online retailer ASOS are pushing at men for next season too. Last week during their preview at Somerset House, racks were bursting with Aztec fleece jackets, coloured cords, loud patterned knitwear and bright padded coats. The future's bright etc.

Jigsaw keyhole sweater Photograph: Jigsaw

A new neckline to obsess over
Lucian Freud and Tim Roth were both on design director for Jigsaw menswear Frances Walker's autumn/winter moodboard. Having relaunched the menswear arm of the business last month, including a standalone store in Spitafields, Walker's vision is thoroughly handsome. These clothes are well made and seem to me to be designed to get better with age. They're grown up but not boring – there's spicy tomato coats, mustard moleskin, tartan suits and a boozy claret duffle. But there are also boring but useful wardrobe staples, such as an 89 basic shirt, which has a lovely handle and something of the Margaret Howells about it. Admittedly, it's at the more expensive end of the high-street - coats are from 200ish to 450 - but the clothes have a longevity about them, matched by well-sourced fabric. I'll be buying this camel fisherman rib jumper with it's "keyhole" neckline – I do love an interesting knit-neckline. See also: next season Alexander Wang.

What I've bought this week
No, not an umbrella. What's the point, you only lose them. Instead the wardrobe is to be suitably tarted up by this marvellous Christopher Shannon collage print sweatshirt.

Collaboration of the week
It's an installation and month long shopping love-off between London's sparky designer emporium b-store and York's premium independent boutique Coggles. It launches today and is as good a reason as any to shout whoop at passerbys.

Nice dunks, McFly Photograph: Back to the Future

Retro film fashion moment of the week
Michael J Fox's hair in the Back to the Future series was truly a thing of beauty, particularly coming into its own, volume wise, in part II. Hair aside, let's take a moment to cherish the fashions of the film. Not only is there Marty's resizing jacket – a bit Balenciaga - and hi-top Nikes that lace themselves (everyone is wearing Nike trainers these days). But there's also Doc Brown's retro repeat pattern print shirt (a bit this season Prada) and visor (a bit next season McQueen). I'm also certain I saw a peplum...