Don’t Let a Past Divorce Get in the Way of New Love

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Getting divorced is a stressful and painful ordeal, but it is becoming more and more common. Getting back on the horse and deciding to date again is a big choice, especially if you are still healing from a betrayal. For some people, getting divorced is a new beginning and a relief. Whichever the case may be for you, just know that you are far from alone in this process. Past relationships teach us what not to do and what we do and do not want from a life partner. Whether you are looking for casual dating or a serious relationship first dates after a divorce can be a tremendous source of anxiety. Try to have a casual and fun first date to break the ice.


Go golfing. Golfing is not a traditional first date, but that’s what makes it so fun. You can focus on an activity to help break the ice, and still get to know each other. Check out a new local discount golf course that neither of you have been to yet.

Check out a farmer’s market. Not only is a farmer’s market a social setting, which can help ease the discomfort of a first date, but you can scour together for really good finds. Check out local produce and plan to cook a meal together with your bargain finds. Some farmer’s markets are also flea markets. If this is the case, go antique hunting together. A flea market provides a plethora of conversation starters.

Take a class together. Find a common interest and go to a local class together. This could entail cooking, learning more about wine tasting, photography, painting or any other mutual interest you would both love to learn more about. This will give you a shared passion right from the start of the relationship—should things progress.

Enjoy a local event together. Maybe you have a local history museum that you never took the time to see or maybe there is a local craft fair happening. Pick something local that a tourist would enjoy and take time to appreciate your town and surroundings together. Other local ideas could include a zoo or a concert.

A few tips on getting back out into the dating scene after divorce:

  • Don’t talk about your ex.
  • Don’t expect that every other fish out there is going to be like your ex.
  • Don’t turn the date into a pity party about how hard things have become since you’ve been single.
  • Don’t refer to your date as your boyfriend/girlfriend to your children until you are sure it is serious. They are already going through enough change as it is.
  • Don’t hang around people who aren’t supportive of the change you are going through.

By Liz Becker


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